Welcome to thatfictitiousself.
The title of this blog comes from an amazing book, one that appeared on a reading list given to me when I was just a young undergraduate. Kate Chopin’s The Awakening had a huge impact on my understanding of the world… you might go so far as to call it, *ahem*, an awakening. One particular line resonated with me: “She was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world”.
That line has played on my thoughts, mainly because of this idea that we could have a fictitious self which is in opposition to a true self. I, and many others I know, will spend our early mornings painting on makeup, convincing ourselves that the day will be a good one if only we can get that eyeliner wing straight, or that bit of hair perfectly curled. Even if you don’t wear makeup, this same idea can appear in the clothes in which we choose to present ourselves, in the concern of the minuscule crease in the collar of a shirt which demands your attention. We go to work, carefully pasting on an “I am very competent” smile, nodding brightly even while wondering what the fuck that guy in the office is rambling on about. But does that count as a self, or one of many selves, or is it just one of the many faces which make up a real self? After all, the back of your head doesn’t look like the front of your head, but that doesn’t mean you have two heads. But perhaps we can’t distinguish between the real and the fiction, if we take the view that perhaps they are not, and were never, the same.
Whether you believe your self to be consistently real, or a garment to shed at will, hopefully the collection of posts in this blog will have something to offer you. If you enjoy them, don’t forget to follow.